


I swear for just a second, I heard him screaming

by AgentRose22



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slight fluff, Spoilers, after season 13, get ready to feel, sad Tucker, should be a two parter, this was supposed to be for the angst war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-29 14:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6379213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentRose22/pseuds/AgentRose22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash's take on the Reds and Blue's returning from Hargrove's ship, everything seems to be fine, until he gets a message from Epsilon, and things seem to spiral down from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Safe and sound?

The unsettling silence of the radio after the communication from Hargrove's ship cut off was not the worst part of the battle, and no it wasn't fighting off the mantis drones either, or even taking down the two Mercs, who seemed to have nothing but time on their hands, and murderous intent towards the people of Chorus, and the Reds and Blues,  
Wash would argue that they were like cats, as they seemed to have nine lives, but that would be offensive to cats or anything else that seemed to have come back from the dead cough, Church cough.  
No the worst part of the battle was waiting for his friends to come back, it was killing Wash not knowing if he would ever hear Tucker's laugh,  
or that he may never listen Simmons and Grif bicker like an old married couple,  
and he couldn't ever imagine not waking up to the sound of the smoke alarm going off in the morning as Caboose tries to help Donut make pancakes, and Sarge cocking his shotgun at said fire alarm, ignoring Doc's continuous yells as he wafts a tea towel under the device. 

Washington knew that some of his friends must have survived the attack on the ship, as it was beginning its descent to the ground of Chorus, and there was an anonymous message saying they were friendlies, but he couldn't help but bounce his leg nervously as his mind worked faster than a speeding bullet, to determine who was alive, and what condition would his team be in when the doors opened.  
His paranoid thoughts however were interrupted when Carolina slapped a hand onto his shoulder,  
“-Wash!” she muttered like she had been trying to get his attention for a while,  
Washington turned his head to look at her, “sorry Boss, lost in thought” he murmured eyes still not completely focused on the woman standing over him.  
Carolina had taken off her helmet after the battle, so he could see that she was smiling tiredly down at him, fondness in her eyes, armour scuffed but shoulders relaxed like she had a giant weight lifted from them,  
“I understand, but the ships down” she stated, picking up her helmet and slinging it under her arm,  
Wash swallowed nervously and stood up, ignoring how heard his heart was beating behind his ribs, but before he could even take a step towards the ship, Carolina placed a hand out to stop him,  
“David, you know whatever is in there, you don't have to face it alone” she sighed trying to comfort the huge ball of anxiety that was David Washington;  
Wash just smiled slightly, “I know Lina, now lets go get our idiots” he sighed pushing gently past her arm and making his way down to the hanger doors of the ship. 

The doors didn't open slowly and dramatically like you would have thought, there was no jaw dropping entrance, no thick layer of slowly dispersing smoke that would clear to show who stood in the large door way, no just the old doors creaking open and the Reds and Blues standing there.  
Caboose looked fine, except his helmet was gone, he all but grinned when he caught sight of Wash and Carolina, bright blue eyes lighting up tiredly,  
but Wash's eyes were on the body in his arms,  
it was Tucker, wearing Maine's old armour, passed out, or that was the best case scenario and the one Wash was currently sticking to as he drew his gaze away to look at everyone else.  
The others weren't exactly looking great either, but at least they were all alive, Sarge had a maniac grin on his face, shotgun on his back, and even though his armour was red you could tell it was littered with blood splatter from his enemies, and he had a hell of a shiner on his right eye,  
Grif was also holding strong, using one arm to keep up Simmon's who's robot arm was in tatters and he was holding onto his shoulder in pain.  
Donut seemed fine, one arm slung around Doc's neck and the other around Lopez who was sparking slightly, overall they all looked beat up, but everyone was alive and that's all that mattered in Washington's mind. 

The only thing weighing him down was the fact that Tucker was the only one not on his feet, head lolled back onto Caboose's arm, like a lifeless doll,  
Wash didn't hesitate clearing the ground in strides to get to the marine in aqua,  
“Tucker!” he all but yelped pulling him from Caboose's arms,  
“he's fine Wash, just took a blow to the head” Doc piped up smiling softly at the scene even through the split lip he was sporting.  
Tucker's eyes fluttered open and he grinned a toothy bloody grin up at the ex Freelancer, “hey there Wash miss me?” he smirked sounding slightly off beat but never the less still alive and breathing,  
and Washington had to shove the ever present urge to head butt Tucker away, as he grinned back down at him, “yeah I did actually” he hummed,  
Tucker make a choking sound that turned into a full on coughing fit at Wash's smile and comeback, but once he had recovered, he batted his eyes at him with a full on smug smirk, “you can show me how much you missed me later hot stuff” he winked.  
Washington's worried expression dead panned as he dropped Tucker into a waiting medics arms and stated professionally, “please take Captain Tucker to the med bay, I think he has a concussion”, his grin returning as the medic rushed off with a struggling Tucker in their arms yelling profanity at Wash as they disappeared from sight. 

He didn't even get a second to catch his breath as Wash was scooped up into a bear hug by Caboose, “Agent Washing tub, we are back, and we got rid of all the bad guys!” he cheered bright blue eyes shining as he began to rabble on about what had happened, but even though his recollection of the battle was hysterically inaccurate, and it involved pirates and ninjas, Wash still found himself smiling up at the soldier in blue with fondness, “as long as you had fun up there” he sighed feeling a thousand times lighter now that everyone was on the ground.  
The Reds walked past him giving him hugs and punches, mostly the second option, as they passed by on their way to med bay, and everything seemed like it could go back to normal, everyone could get patched up and they could leave Chorus and head back to wherever it was they called home.  
At least that was what the small optimistic voice In the back of his head said, until he put his helmet back on and a message flashed up on his HUD making his eyes widen “Epsilon?”.


	2. Broken

Wash had taken his time, listening to the message over and over, it was hard to believe the asshole AI was actually gone, he knew he should feel empty, Epsilon had been his AI, his friend, part of his team, after all; But all he felt was numbness, he knew no one had put on their helmets to check their messages, everyone was too busy recovering from the battle to even notice Church was gone, let alone to check their inboxes. He waited outside for a while, letting tears soak over his face, and regret sink into his heart, before he pulled his helmet over his head and walked to the infirmary to see Tucker, shoving down his feelings for his team mates, after all, he had always been the strong one. 

The ex Freelancer wasted no time on thinking it over, he needed to talk with Tucker to find out what exactly had happened on the ship, and he needed to know if the soldier in aqua was aware that Church was gone.  
But what Washington hadn't been expecting was to walk in and find Tucker,  
with his hands over his face shaking violently, on one of the medical bay beds.  
“Tucker!” Wash exclaimed, rushing to his side and kneeling down to eye level of the soldier clad in blue, “are you alright?, do I need to go get Doctor Grey?” he asked, scanning over his injuries for anything that may have caused Tucker to react so badly,  
Tucker continued to shake not removing his hands from his face,  
and Wash took this as a sign to leave and go get a Doctor,  
until a hand grasped his in a tight hold, refusing to let up when he tugged at it,  
“Wash” Tucker all but sobbed,  
stopping the man in his tracks, Wash swung his head around and caught sight of Tucker's tear stained face, and he felt his heart contract painfully at Tucker's expression. 

“You know don't you?” he breathed stepping closer to the bed and taking a seat next to Tucker,  
Tucker tilted his head up to meet the ex freelancer's blue gaze, before shooting him with a no shit gaze, that held no venom with tears down his cheeks and lips trembling,  
“he was inside my armour; The Meta's armour, I knew when he jumped in that he wouldn't be able to do it, the Meta needed a bunch of AI fragments to keep his equipment running, but we were so desperate, I hung onto the fact that Church was stubborn, he wouldn't want to go out that way, I mean he's already come back from the dead like three times, we always used to joke that we couldn't get rid of him”. Tucker paused taking in a breath and wiping his face from the never ending stream of tears, with the hand that wasn't still clutching Wash's like a lifeline that is.  
Washington frowned, eyes softening, as he tried to listen to the young soldiers words, he felt the need to just pull Tucker close, anything to get that sad look off of his face and to replace it with his usual heart stopping grin.

“I felt it, you know, I felt it when he shattered himself into fragments, tiny little fuckin things that just disappeared into oblivion, he wasn't in my neural implant thank god but I still felt it, in my heart, it hurt more than a bullet wound to the chest, or a knife to the gut, ha or even someone cutting open your stomach with a saw because they didn't have any goddamn medical equipment on hand, it was like the feeling when your suffocating, there's just a weight on your chest, except this time its not your pain, its someone else's, splintering in you heart like pieces of shrapnel, fuck, I swear for just a second I heard him screaming. Like he was in agony Wash, but it sounded quick, I would have thought painless if I hadn't heard the screams”, Tucker winced grasping onto Wash's shirt like a child, as he continued to shake, dark brown eyes mixed with green, looking up into blue, as if Washington could somehow give him an answer to dull his pain, to bring his friend back.

“Tucker it's not your fault you know, Epsilon... Church, he knew the odds of you all surviving would be better if you could use the Meta's armour, he knew what he was getting himself into” Wash sighed, placing a comforting hand onto Tucker's shoulder, rubbing soothing circles onto the under armoured suit Tucker wore.  
“I think I could have kept on a braver face if it wasn't for them” Tucker sobbed resting his head against the ex Freelancer's shoulder, eyes darting to some small objects that rested on the bed that Wash hadn't caught sight of before.  
Nine chips were layed out on the bed, all giving off different colours,  
and Wash froze, “are those what I think they are?” he asked in shock, hand stilling its movements on Tucker's shoulder as he gazed at the drives,  
“fragments of fragments, that's what Church told me in his message, he knew I started carrying around data chips after the time when we lost you and I had to sneak into a base to get information, I knew they would come in handy some day, guess I was right” Tucker muttered bitterly into the material of Wash's under suit.

“They can't run armour enhancements if that's what your thinking, he told me that they would keep an eye on us since he can't do that anymore, he also told me not to give the black on to Carolina, said Beta was a lot like Tex” Tucker mused,  
“this isn't, this can't be, this is fucking impossible!” Wash yelled, voice doing its squeaking thing,  
causing Tucker to jolt in surprise and nearly hit Wash's chin with the top of his head.  
“That's what I though, till I plugged one into my armour, I damn near shit myself when it started to talk to me, it seemed so scared, but I guess you would be if you used to be a part of someone else, then you woke up and you were separated from all your other parts, it would be like losing a leg and it coming to life” he chuckled slightly at the analogy rubbing under his eyes.  
“I want you to take care of who gets what, you knew the AIs from the project just as well as Church did, all I ever knew was Alfa and Epsilon” Tucker hummed, seeming to have calmed down from borderline hysteria after talking to Wash.  
“Are you sure? I'm not sure what one I would give you, certainly not the fragment of Epsilon, or Beta” Wash joked slightly,  
“haha very funny, cause one of them was my friend and the other one was his hot bitchy ex, just gimme the small purple one” he griped. 

This made Washington downright smug, “that's adorable” he chuckled musing Tucker's hair,  
“how so?” Tucker glared, daring Wash to back up his statement, but not looking at all threatening,  
“well Tucker, that's Theta, and he is like a little kid, in the project he was given to North because of his brotherly like instincts, so I think he'll get along with you just fine, as long as you don't teach him how to swear”.  
Tucker's glare increased seven fold, “um excuse me, aren't AIs practically hard wired to the internet?, I'm sure little Theta will have seen way more than swearing on there” Tucker wiggled his eyebrows,  
“on second thought maybe I should give you Omega, I'm sure he'd have fun with you” Wash smirked, watching as Tucker's face contorted to fear and disgust,  
“please no!, I'll be a good role model to Theta I swear, I raised Junior didn't I?!” he squawked,  
Washington rolled his eyes, “yeah I suppose you did a pretty good job with that kid” he smirked “you were such a good mother to him”, he suppressed the bubble of laughter that rose in his throat as Tucker glared daggers at him from where his head was tucked under Wash's chin,  
“I'm not his fucking mum!” Tucker growled.  
Wash raised an eyebrow at this,  
“oh yeah?, well who carried him before he was born then?” he teased,  
“don't you start that shit with me, he may have come from me but I am nobody's mother,  
moving an arm off of Tucker, he ran it down and up under the marines shirt lifting it up to show off the c section scar he had gotten when having Junior, running a hand gently over Tucker's stomach with a sigh, “I still think you will make a wonderful father figure for Theta” he smiled.

Tucker blushed and spluttered, “yeah I know, you don't need to tell me shit I already know” he rambled nervously, biting his lip,  
“Tucker, do I need to shut you up?” Wash asked, eyes holding a predator like look,  
“yes please, shut me up, right now, do it” Tucker smirked pulling Wash down by the collar of his under suit and pursing his lips,  
“Tucker your not emotionally prepared for this right now” Washington frowned, “you can't bury your feelings about Church that easily, just know I'm here if you need to talk about it anymore okay?”,  
“yeah I get it ya big mushy Freelancer, now smooch me, that's all I ask” Tucker sighed, “we can break the news to the others later”,  
Wash smiled bitterly “well alright then, come here”, he cupped the back of Tucker's head and pulled him close to him, placing his lips gently onto Tucker's.  
They stayed like that for a while, trying to stay in their own little world for just a bit longer before they had to face reality that they're friend and companion was gone forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well let me just tell you its only going to get worse from here, I am so sorry x


	3. Coffee

The others wouldn't take the news well, so Wash had decided not to break the news to them after all, he thought the messages Church had left them would be able to explain better than he or Tucker could, well Tucker could probably explain best, but he had refused to say a word to any of his team mates as of late, locking himself in his room, or over exerting himself in the training facilities of the base the Feds and News now called home.  
Wash was becoming worried, and he made sure to nag Tucker over the things that mattered, but he knew Tucker would take a while to get over this, after all his best friend had killed himself inside his armour, Tucker had every right to grieve, but that didn't excuse him from not taking care of himself. Wash would have made him sleep more, but when he did he found himself being awoken by Tucker's screams of Church's name, and once he even heard Allison's name being screamed from his bed mates lips. It seemed Church shattering himself in Tucker's armour did more damage than Wash had first thought, and it was terrifying to see someone else plagued by the things that had once tortured him, and it was worse since it was someone he loved, and Wash wouldn't have unleashed the terrors of Epsilon on anyone, not even his worst enemies.

Surprisingly the first one of his team to approach him about Epsilon was Simmons, ever the organised and observational nerd he was, he had gone to do his daily check through his messages the night after they returned, only to find a message from Church.  
He had told Simmons how he was important, and all of the things his abusive father had put him through and all of the hardships he had endured had sculpted him into an amazing person, but it didn't make those things any better, he also talked about how lucky Simmons was to have found his soul mate and his best friend all rolled into one, and Church wanted him to be happy, he had found love and told him to never let it go. Yeah it was cheesy and yeah it was from an asshole AI who thought he was doing what was best for his friends by killing himself, but it still made Simmons sit on his bunk and cry until Grif turned up with a shoulder to cry on and those ever teasing words of “are you okay nerd?” that made Church's message feel bitter sweet. 

Simmons had refused to talk about it with Grif until the orange soldier had checked his HUD, so he went to talk with Wash about it instead, since he knew Sarge would be no help,  
the two of them sat in the mess hall drinking coffee and Simmons had spilled how he felt like it was his fault, he thought that if he had been stronger and a better fighter the odds of battle would have been more tilted in their favour and Church may have decided not to sacrifice himself for them.  
Wash had reassured Simmons this wasn't the case, it was no ones fault Church had come to the conclusion of shattering himself, Simmons had half heartedly agreed looking over the Freelancer worriedly. 

“So how is Tucker doing? Any luck on getting him out of this?” Simmons asked biting his lip worriedly, before taking another sip of his coffee to fill the silence, he didn't like the bitter substance but when the ex Freelancer had offered it to him he had immediately said yes, to not be rude.  
“He is how he was when you last saw him, working himself to the bone and refusing to crack any jokes, I understand its hard on him but he is shutting everyone out and its only causing him more pain” Washington sighed running his free hand through the fringe of his military cut hair.  
“Does Caboose know yet? He might be able to help, he has known Tucker almost as long as Tucker knew Church” Simmons observed,  
“I'm going to tell him after this, he deserves to hear it from someone and not a message, he saw Church as his best friend, and its going to devastate him when he finds out Church won't be coming back this time, but I think I have something to soften the blow slightly” Wash explained,  
Simmons nodded, “I'm going to look to see if any of the AI fragments know if we can bring him back but its highly unlikely, but you can tell Tucker I won't stop looking until I run out of options if that's any comfort” he smiled. 

Washington stood from the table but smiled briefly at Simmon's “yes thank you Simmons, I'll give you the AI fragments once I have finished speaking to Caboose but I may be a while”,  
Simmons grimaced “yeah good luck Wash”,  
Washington turned around ready to leave the canteen but was stopped when Simmons called out.  
“Uh Wash wait a second, have you figured out who the fragments are going to yet?” he asked curiously,  
Wash turned back and shook his head, “not yet but don't worry everyone will get one who needs one” he smiled gently before slotting his helmet back on and leaving the mess hall, clutching a dull blue memory chip in the palm of his hand, “and some people deserve one more than others” he sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I'm taking so long to update this fic and that this chapter is so short, I'm up to my eyeballs in college work which is just painting 24 seven so I'm always away from my computer, but thank you all for being so patient with me, the next chapter is going to be longer and very Caboose related, yes I know I'm evil, but worse is yet to come ;P x

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for such a short fic but the second chapter is gonna contain a heck of alot of feels, I hope you enjoyed the first part and please constructive criticism only please, and I always welcome comments, anyways thanks again for reading and I hope I can start writing more when the Summer holidays roll around x


End file.
